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Unconditional Love? What A Load Of Bull!


Someone once said that pain is an excellent source of creativity. He was right. But so is hunger, obsession, respect (or lack thereof), and the pleasure of making things happen — excellent sources of creativity in their own right.

Unconditional love. It’s the new fad. The new mantra. Religions preach it. Parents teach it. Psychology advertises it, Disney sells it, and kids buy it. And adults too. Everyone gobbles it up, because it’s what good, righteous people do: love unconditionally.

But it’s a load of bull.

See, unconditional love is by default a misnomer, a term that makes no sense. To love something there has to be a condition, a reason. No one cares about anything without cause.

We love our parents, for example, because they gave birth to us and are taking care of us.

We love our friends because they make us feel good in times of happiness and offer us a helping hand in times of need.

We love our dog because it’s a kindhearted animal, or because it loves us back.

We love animals because they are pure and precious, life’s own testament to diversity and creativity.

We love nature because it contains the spirit of life. And we love God, or a number of deities, because He/She/It/They represent order and hope.

And children, we love our children because we gave birth to them and have invested our time and energy in them so early on, we have an unbreakable bond with them. We stand to benefit if they thrive, our existence is perpetuated through them, our sense of duty fulfilled.

We love because a condition enables us to.

So, to put things straight and call them by their name, unconditional love doesn’t exist. A predicate is always involved.

The rest is hot air and party balloons. The all-encompassing, omnipotent affection people claim to exhibit toward everything and anything, sending their colorful and bubbly vibes to the world, is a load of well-intentioned rubbish. I mean, loving everyone must be the most meaningless thing a person can claim to be doing. There is no reason for it, no meaning to it, no purpose for it. It helps no one and inspires nothing, making compassion look kooky.

Ever seen a person smile all day? All frickin’ day? If you have, you already know how creepy it looks and how non-constructive it becomes over time.

Same with love. “Loving” everyone and everything unconditionally is top notch weird, defeating its own purpose.

Or, as a wise man once said, too many kooks spoil the food.

A better alternative would be to

Mind your own business, harm no one, come together when the time is right and stand up for what you believe in when the situation demands it, and good things will happen

A dogma you can live (and let live) by. A meaningful and functional kind of love.

Distance. I wish you plenty of it between you and people who act like that. Preferably an ocean, or a vacuum, or a hard wall of facts. Reality is too precious a commodity to waste on misapplied insight, especially if it claims to be the route to “enlightenment.”

Nonsense, you see. It has a way of taking a mile for every inch you offer it.

Never yield a hair’s width to it.

Now that’s something worth being unconditional about.

From the bays of Pearl Coast,

Fish a ton of oysters, strike a shiny pearl.