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The Story Of Jesus Christ Is A Reminder

I was baptized as an infant, meaning it was not my choice to enter the faith, and have yet to decide whether to extricate myself from the Greek Orthodox Church i.e. officially reject it.

I’m considering it.

Whatever happens, I remain partial to the story of Jesus Christ, inspired by His message.

Still, as things stand, I don’t consider myself a Christian, not in today’s terms. Its founder would be ashamed of it, and so am I.

To be fair, I don’t know if I would have joined the congregation of Jesus back in the day either. I’m not the disciple kind, nor a follower at large. I deem myself a curious fellow who embraces the mental and spiritual revolutions from afar, in parallel and tandem, as an individual, not a cog in the machine. My allegiance remains to the spirit of deliverance – from the powers that be, from our shortcomings and vices, from our tendency to undermine ourselves. The battle against systemic corruption and the degeneration that accompanies it continues. I’m ‘anti-atavism’ and ‘pro-evolution.’ The books I engage with give me strength, clarity, and the ability to engage back the world. They offer me insight, page by page, line by line, the kind I’ve been denied by the GOC – a power structure that cannibalizes goodwill, and to which I refuse to give anything – ever since I was born.

The story of Jesus Christ is a reminder that a big part of having faith is to never allow the establishment and its agents to get away with it. (Remember the gatekeepers of the day, the Pharisees and scribes? The role they play in the Gospel?) Find ways around them, around the powers that be, says the story. Connect with something larger than life, something truly grand, and if the clergy aren’t helping, if they’re making it impossible, toss them.

Toss them.

I strive for purpose in a chaotic world alongside countless others, searching for meaning in the meaningless, for belief in times of uncertainty. Disillusioned but not disheartened, I seek rhyme in the contradictions, a respite from conflict and a reason to keep going.

In the end, when all seems lost and broken I go back to The Road by Cormac McCarthy:

‘Keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden.’

~ Excerpt from APOLOGY (from the upcoming short story collection CHECK THE GATES ONE LAST TIME — work in progress)