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Political Comedy And The Limelight Virus

PC_Colbert Johnson

And when you thought the standards couldn’t sink any lower, in comes Gary Johnson. I mean FFS. The Libertarian Party was supposed to be the party of crazy-sounding reason, not yadda-bladda-fee-fi-fo-fum (speaks with tongue between teeth). He’s not a true libertarian, Johnson, which is good where climate change is concerned (libertarians think that we shouldn’t regulate industrial emissions etc) but pretty bad concerning most other things because not being a true libertarian means he ain’t getting it. He’s a soft version of the establishment, oo-de-lally, AND he’s giving interplanetary travel a bad name!

‘Should we take the long term view?’ he asks when bringing up climate change. Duh!!

But the comedy industry, they’re loving it. Laughing all the way to the bank, the comedians want more.

I get it now. I see what’s going on. Politics in America and around the world has been taken over by the comedy industry. Not a conspiracy theory! Mark my words, comedians are a cabal of supremely well-organized flesh-eating parakeets with a sinister agenda and plenty nasty beaks that double up as interstellar radiation devices that penetrate people’s brains and make them do dumbass shit for ratings. Some of them have even mutated into a carefully-disguised lizard form (though their tongues betray them) which increases their cold-hearted tendencies, because reptiles. True story.

Or, and here’s a wild, wild theory, we could call them all by their true capacity: smart men and women serving the god of stupid; slaves to the grind of the limelight, doing whatever they must to keep the spotlight on themselves and whatever they’re covering, they gotta have it, even if it destroys the substrate on which everything grows.

Some would call this a virus. The limelight virus.

‘Should we take the long term view?’

One would deem it a rhetorical question. It used to be, once.

From the bays of a gusty Pearl Coast,

Fish a ton of oysters, mind the empty shells.