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Monkey And Dolphin Business: The Theory Of Evolved Devolution

Monkeys, dolphins and other social animals. They sometimes look like they know something more than humans. Warning: This is a non-academic, non-conclusive article. It’s a Gonzo piece that contains cute monkeys, strange thoughts, and a weird twist …

Good afternoon! This is your Random Truth (RANT) bulletin with your random food for thought.

Today’s topic: Is evolution devolution? Are the dolphins and monkeys lower than us in the evolutionary chain, or did they once possess advanced knowledge, yet somehow pulled back from it, at least on the surface, reverting to a simpler, more primal way of being, saving themselves from the perils of progress?

It sometimes feels that way, especially when looking at them swimming through the waters, or monkeying around in the trees, being almost divine.

In the right light, they could pass for Gods. Deities among men and animals.

Yet, for all their potential wisdom, they made a mistake, one which is costing them dearly.

See, the flaw in their actions, and the chink in the theory of their evolved devolution — or devolved evolution, take your pick — is that they fell under human control.

Yes. They unfortunately handed themselves to humankind on a silver platter.

Everyone knows what man does to things that come on a silver platter.

Teen actor Luke Halpin with one of the dolphin performers playing ‘Flipper’ (via

Teen actor Luke Halpin with one of the dolphin performers playing ‘Flipper’ (via

Lesson of the day: never devolve, even if it seems like the right thing to do. Let go and you offer your life and destiny to those who keep pushing, who step up to fill the power void.

The best thing one can do when reaching a negative tipping point is to adapt. Take it down a notch but stay in the fucking game.

Or end up like the dolphins and the monkeys, swimming in human waste and hanging from burning branches and metal cages made by advanced, technologically-oriented minds.

People have often asked me what one smokes to come up with this shit. Their comments are completely missing the point.

I usually stare at them, then divulge the fact that I smoke reinforced magnesium. It does wonders for the brain.

They shake their heads and walk away, going back to building cages, or to trying to figure out how to retire to a simpler way of life.

They need to.

From the RANT headquarters,

Have a nice evening!