According to this article’s premise, if Satan were human, he’d be a teenage girl. God, on the other hand, would be a teenage boy on crack, trying to crash Satan’s party, or — and here’s the twist — vice versa, because they’re basically the same.
Warning: This is a non-academic, non conclusive piece that targets certain (not all) parts of religion and its radical followers. If you’re easily offended, watch Little House on the Prairie or Fifty Shades Of Righteousness …
Good afternoon! This is your Random Truth (RANT) bulletin with your random food for thought. Today’s topic: Controversy. What is it? What qualifies as ‘controversial?’
The question has come up many times recently on recent online and offline threads.
The answer varies. Controversial is a man who raises issues against feminism. Oo!
Controversial is speaking about the bigotry of new age liberals in the same vein as one speaks about the bigotry of religious maniacs. Aa!
Controversial is talking about the responsibilities of countries in debt because no one is supposed to criticize the destitute. Aw!
Breaking news! All the above topics are legit. Their only controversy is the extent of self-importance that the indignant responders apply to those who raise them. ‘You can’t talk about this like that, it’s an untouchable issue.’
Go fuck yourself! is the proper response.
See, the line ‘You can’t talk about this like that,’ is a fascist’s opening line. A tingly fascist’s response. ‘You can’t touch this, bigot! You’re not supposed to speak like that!’
Jawol, mein Fuhrer! Mein Duce! My Lord!
Speaking of fascism, let’s talk about religion. Let’s talk about a God that gets so upset when ‘His’ rules are not followed, he passes the entire world through a grinder.
Bit of an asshole, don’t you think?
Speaking of fascism, let’s talk about religion. Let’s talk about a God that gets so upset when ‘His’ rules are not followed, he passes the entire world through a grinder.
Sorry, the politically correct term is ‘Murderous Sociopath.’
Not controversial enough?
Let’s talk about pedophile priests screwing ten-year-olds while preaching the word of said murderous sociopath.
Surely, that’s controversial, right?
Let’s talk about pedophile mullahs.
Surely that’s controversial!
Let’s talk about a Muslim porn star. Having sex with an atheist. In Mecca. Sucking… What?
I bet you thought ‘cock,’ right?
What if I told you the porn star’s male? Surely he’s sucking pussy then, not cock.
Unless, of course, the porn stars are both male — then they’re definitely sucking cock. And ass.
Or maybe they’re both female, which means they’re sucking a combination of ass and muff.
‘Sucking muff and cock and ass in Mecca. In Jerusalem. In the Vatican. In the Phanari. In Moscow.’ Now that’s controversial (maybe not the Moscow part — we take dollar and cigaryette! — but the rest are. Very controversial).
Why?
Because they’re offensive statements with offensive implications, and the only way to deal with offence of this kind, according to God and his strict adherents, is to destroy those who do it, say it, or even think it.
Hence the ‘murderous sociopath’ label above.
See, there’s rhyme and reason behind this article’s name-calling. It exposes the murderous tendencies of holy(-er-than-thou) belief systems.
The only way to deal with this kind of offence, according to God and his strict adherents, is to kill those who do it, say it, or even think it.
The only way to deal with such pious, violent assholes (another word used deliberately in this article, for what is an asshole other than someone whose primary function is to shit on people — let me not go to the secondary function, which has to do with packing it in, an activity also preferred among pedophiles, many of whom are holy men) where was I? Ah yes, the only way to deal with such assholes is to engage them in their secondary role, metaphorically speaking, of course, giving them back a little of their own medicine i.e. shafting, while also getting them to defecate all over each other, keeping them busy and away from people like you and me. Have them fight it out amongst themselves, getting them to destroy each other in the process.
Now that would be an act of divine beauty.
Which is what the State Department has been doing for the past sixty years. They took a leaf out of organized religion’s politics because organized religion is the master in world domination. (Controversial enough now, biatches?)
No? Let’s push the envelope further. Let’s talk about a world where killing in the name of God is murder, and where everyone who murders — and persecutes and destroys — in the name of God it is arrested and executed so that their genes are finally wiped out, never to taint the world again. Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, American, Russian, Chinese, Banglandeshi, San Marinian, interracial, let them all be held accountable for their crimes, and be arrested and wiped out.
Let’s talk about a world where killing in the name of God is murder, and where everyone who murders — and persecutes and destroys — in the name of God is arrested and executed
Too radical? Too bigoted, fascist, and, dare I say it, God-like?
Ok, now what? How do we get rid of the murderously righteous? Put them in jail perhaps, where they may continue to spread their ways in the name of holiness gone mad? Sustain them with our money and enable their psychotic tendencies? What?
Something to think about while you munch on your snack in your slinky-dinky office in your sparkly little society with its oo’s and aa’s and precious little don’ts, unable to express in public a thought like ‘religion can be useful, and God is a noble concept, but the way some priests and mullahs and rabbis and yogis and shamans practise their “holy ways” is a load of shit.’ Speaking that line out loud would brand you a bigot, you see, and you don’t want to be branded a bigot in today’s society. It would be inconveniently controversial, and you don’t want to be controversial.
You might as well have leprosy.
You’d prefer to be clean of any accusation, clean as a coward’s whistle.
Thank God for South Park, a show that says what many individuals think but are afraid to speak out loud
Thank God for South Park, a show that says what many individuals think but are afraid to speak out loud, with an added punch or ten thousand, just for kicks. Just to keep us real. THEY’re controversial: kids brave enough to speak the truth adults are too pussy (or flaccid) to touch.
Yes, I know the South Park kids are cartoons, which means they’re not real. But their words are real. Their courage is real. The issues they raise are real, and so is the fact they’re one of the few characters who raise them; in ways that make one think, ‘Damn!’
So is the fact that we like watching these characters, laughing out loud to the gags and jabs, cheering them on before switching off the TV to return to our droning, un-offensive lives where the leprosy of controversy is kept at bay.
Ever wonder why religion is making a killing? Because it has the will to kill, while its detractors are all too pleased to watch from the sidelines
Ever wonder why religion makes a killing? Because it has the will to kill, while its detractors are all too pleased to watch from the sidelines, giggling, frowning and ho-humming their way through life, fighting their battles within their sterile little circles over sterile non-issues.
Thankfully the tolerance for religion’s assholiness has an expiry date. As time passes, more and more people see through the holy-er-than-thou crap. They grab a bullhorn and call the assholes for their bull, making sure that if push comes to shove, they’ll shove them back to oblivion.
Because, like it or not, some predators have to be eradicated for the rest of life to grow. Those who say No are, you guessed it, the assholes that shit on us every day, placing rules of no scientific or rational value whatsoever on what we’re able to say or do. They speak against all forms of abortion and prevent stem-cell research. They believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen, under a man’s boot, and that said man’s place is below other men, all the way up to the great Man himself, God, whose nature is that of a violent teenager on crack.
Them — and the cowards who enable them.
Controversial enough for you?
Let me close with a reference to a great South Park episode: Hell On Earth 2006.
In this episode we have three stooges i.e. three serial killers (see below) doing Satan’s bidding — Satan, who wants a Ferrari cake for his Halloween party, which is also his ‘sweet sixteen’ bash,
Thankfully the tolerance for religion’s assholiness has an expiry date. As time passes, more and more people see through the crap. They grab a bullhorn and call the assholes for their bull
and for which he dresses up like a psycho teenager, dying to be worshipped by all, and crying, screaming and throwing genocidal tantrums when his wishes are not met — an entity whose party the clergy want to crash (because it reminds them of their own Lord?) and which they discuss behind closed doors, in a chamber lined with marble tiles and naked children on leashes — stuff that happens only in Christianity and no other religion whatsoever, na-ah…
Need I go on?
Thank God for controversy. Praise his radical champions and their motherfucking nature for the material they provide writers and performers daily. Where would social commentary and rants and comedy be without God and his minions, without organized religion’s fanatics? Where would gun manufacturers and organ smugglers and pedophiles and rapists and hypocrites and law enforcers and judges be? Where would LA and DC be? Where would AA and the NAM be? Where would Mecca and the Vatican be? Where would the prison-industrial complex be? Where would torture culture be? Where would psychiatry be, with its guilt-dissolving mechanisms and its mind-numbing drugs, which make everything AAA OK? Where would diatribes like this be? (I’m repeating myself — put this under rants and other commentary.) Where would Ferraris and sugardaddies and sugarmommies and horny biatches and candyboys be?
Where would absolution be?
Bottom line is, religion exists to remind us that no matter how shitty life gets, we can always clean up our act, ASAP.
Sometimes we do it by being respectful and spiritual, conducive to a compassionate state of affairs. Other times we kick the world in face and ass in the name of our deities.
By ‘kicking’ I mean shafting everything that gets in our way because it goes against our deep-set beliefs — abusing and destroying our way through whatever contravenes us before throwing it in the ditch, in the name of religious dogma.
I guess the murderous sociopath known as God and his minions had one thing right. The world belongs to those who prevail.
The good thing is, the world is catching up, replacing ancient religions with better-suited narratives, which may result in a reduction in psycho aggression — and all things done in the name of the divine — in favor of something less self-righteous and insecure i.e. something more noble and life-affirming.
From the RANT headquarters,
Bless your souls.
PS – Here’s the South Park clip I mentioned earlier, Hell on Earth 2006 (till the end of religion-gone-mad and the rise of a refreshed and sounder array of faiths and belief systems).
And here’s a making-of video clip on the episode …
https://southpark.cc.com/clips/6lgt7g/creator-commentary-hell-on-earth-2006