Baby, It’s Cold Outside: a male-female duet originally performed by Dean Martin and Doris Day, which, as Conan O’Brien pointed out in a recent show, carries a disturbing message.
Centering around a woman who wants to go home and a guy who won’t let her leave, it’s downright creepy, if not code for harassment/rape.
What the hell am I talking about? Take a look at the lyrics for yourself. Note: this version is sung by Johnny Mercer and Margaret Whiting.
Note 2: first come the man’s lines, followed by the woman’s. My own translation is in [xyz].
MAN: I really can’t stay
WOMAN: Baby it’s cold outside I’ve got to go away [I want to leave]
M: Baby it’s cold outside [stay]
W: This evening has been
M: Been hoping that you’d drop in
W: So very nice [thanks but no thanks]
M: I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice [this is me manhandling you]
W: My mother will start to worry [I gotta go]
M: Beautiful, what’s your hurry? [stay]
W: Father will be pacing the floor [I gotta go]
M: Listen to the fireplace roar [I’m really turned on]
W: So really I’d better scurry [I don’t want to stay!]
M: Beautiful, please don’t hurry [we ain’t done yet!]
W: Maybe just a half a drink more [I can’t think straight]
M: Put some records on while I pour [we’re just getting started]
W: The neighbors might think [people will find out]
M: Baby, it’s bad out there [no one’s going to see]
W: Say, what’s in this drink? [you spiked my fucking drink!]
M: No cabs to be had out there [yep, and by the way, you’re stranded!]
W: I wish I knew how
M: Your eyes are like starlight now
W: To break this spell [I’m drunk and helpless]
M I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell [this is me taking your clothes off]
W: I ought to say no, no, no [stop it!]
M: Mind if I move in closer? [let’s do this!]
W: At least I’m gonna say that I tried [I can’t fend you off!]
M: What’s the sense in hurting my pride? [don’t resist!]
W: I really can’t stay [let me go!]
M: Baby don’t hold out [stop resisting!] Ah, but it’s cold outside
W: I’ve got to get home [you bastard!]
M: Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there [blah blah!]
W: Say, lend me your coat [I’m vulnerable and hurting]
M: It’s up to your knees out there [no one will help you]
W: You’ve really been grand [you’ve hurt me]
M: I thrill when you touch my hair [I had a good time!]
W: Why don’t you see
M: How can you do this thing to me?
W: There’s bound to be talk tomorrow [I’ll report you]
M: Think of my life long sorrow [don’t]
W: At least there will be plenty implied [even if you shut me up, people will know what you did]
M: If you caught pneumonia and died [one word and you’re dead]
W: I really can’t stay [I gotta go]
M: Get over that hold out [get over it, let’s do it again]
W: Ah, but it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside Oh, baby, it’s cold outside
Freaked out yet?