Shard is home to a collection of monologs, articles and social commentary by EON, child of Time, whose regard of humanity is scathing. It also hosts RANT HQ.

Sexualized Cartoons And The Virgin Mary | An EON Special

Hello! It’s the bottom half of the week and I want to enter it with a bang.

Sex in cartoons!

Wh — what? You mean animated cartoons?

Yes.

Like manga porn?

No, not manga porn. I’m talking animations that we all love to watch. Characters we have grown up with, spent our time living up to and identifying with. Figures so innocent and inspiring, it would be disturbing to think of them in a way that even approximates sex.

Little hot mermaid? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)
Little hot mermaid? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)

Kind of unsettling, isn’t it? I mean, these are characters we enjoyed watching as kids, or enjoy watching now, with our kids and nephews, before 9 o’ clock bedtime. There’s no space for toned bodies and voluptuous curves here.

Sexy Pocahontas? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)
Sexy Pocahontas? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)

Yowza!

I mean, preposterous! How dare they?

Ditto for male animations.

Little hot… merman? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)
Little hot… merman? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)

Ok, this one isn’t a real character. Consider him a post-op transsexual Ariel.

Speaking of transsexuals . . .

Cool… Elsa-guy? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)
Cool… Elsa-guy? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)

Yay flip-side!

Still looking for an original male character.

Still looking.

Damn it, are there no sexualized male animations out there?

Cool-ish Jack Frost. (image by sakimichan – via deviantart)
Cool-ish Jack Frost. (image by sakimichan – via deviantart)

There you have it. Sexy Jack Frost, in an albino kind of way.

I think he’d make a good match for Elsa.

Jelsa getting it on! (image by sakimichan – via deviantart)
Jelsa getting it on! (image by sakimichan – via deviantart)

Back to the effortlessly sizzling — those who were super-hot to begin with.

Even-hotter-than-usual Jessica Rabbit? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)
Even-hotter-than-usual Jessica Rabbit? (image by sakimichan – via imgur)

Smokin’! isn’t she? (For more art by sakimichan, click here.)

Feeling weird?

Then you know exactly how the people of the Middle Ages felt when they went from this . . .

The Virgin Mary and the baby Jesus in an emotionally evocative but dimensionally flat iconography (artist unknown)
The Virgin Mary and the baby Jesus in an emotionally evocative but dimensionally flat iconography (artist unknown)

To this…

Madonna With Child and Five Angels by Sandro Botticelli (circa 1470) (notice the exposed neck and the curves of the breasts, an inconceivable and outrageous depiction at the time)
Madonna With Child and Five Angels by Sandro Botticelli (circa 1470) (notice the exposed neck and the curves of the breasts, an inconceivable and outrageous depiction at the time)

And this . . .

The Virgin Mary Suckling Jesus by Lucas Cranach the Elder (1530)
The Virgin Mary Suckling Jesus by Lucas Cranach the Elder (1530)

And this . . .

St Sebastian by Sandro Botticelli (c. 1474)
St Sebastian by Sandro Botticelli (c. 1474)

And this . . .

The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli (1486)
The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli (1486)

And this…

Primavera by Sandro Botticelli (1482)
Primavera by Sandro Botticelli (1482)

Get the picture?

Nothing Sacred

Perhaps this is what progress is all about. Breaching the unbreachable, breaking the taboos, moving beyond all limits, into the unfathomable.

Then again, maybe this is what hell is all about. No sense of propriety, decorum, inhibition or respect for what is (or should be considered) holy.

Such is life. The more we know the further we advance, often at the peril of what was once deemed beyond limits.

No wonder the forbidden fruit was the fruit of knowledge, the tasting of which resulted in Adam and Eve getting cast out of Eden i.e. denied the bliss of unencumbered existence, thereby entering the hell of sapient consciousness.

Who said scripture is useless, mindless fairytale?

Have a nice evening!

Vexed? Watch this space for more.

From the collection of writings EON: THE ANGRY COMING OF AGE