Following up on the sardonic streak I have been employing lately (here’s to me post-modernly injecting myself in my article’s esthetic) let me pick up on the Honest Trailers series with an episode on Le most Miserable musical in the history of musicals.
Ok, so I’m lying. It wasn’t the most miserable musical ever. It was one of the bottom five musicals ever.
How dare I say this?
I’m a negative bastard who loves to trash good things for no good reason.
Scratch that, it’s not true (yes it is — not it’s not). I’m just a dude who gets frisky after watching things that pretend to be of a certain quality but aren’t. It rubs my curlies the wrong way.
Without further ado, let me introduce you to the most fantarrstical musical on earth. Behold one of the best actors in the business (Russell Crowe) perform a spectacular tsukahara that lands him in the pit of broken dreams for actors that can’t sing — an already annoying actress become even more annoying (I don’t know why she annoys me — doesn’t she annoy you?) by trying to sing her heart out in a film that makes no sense, making her performance nonsense — an X-man who looks more like a mutant in this film than in all his other mutant films (you know who) — a director who must have had his head stuck in some arcane wormhole when casting and shooting this film — and, last but not least, a classic segment of world history getting trashed, trashed, trashed again, then trashed a little more before getting trashed even further in a sing-a-long karaoke contest between thespians who are probably very bored with their careers, looking to try something new, even if it shoves two fingers down my throat, forcing me and everyone else with half an ear for notes and story lines to hurl in 360 (and in 3D) as if the film title was there to tell us what their audience would end up looking like when the show was over: miserables as fuck.
Ok, the real truth is, it’s not that bad. (Yes it is.)
No it’s nooooot!
Yes it iiiiiiis!
The trick is to watch it as a comedy. It’s awesome that way.