‘Today I will send my daughter a long message where I ask about her instead of telling her about me.’
An astounding piece of writing on the nature of confronting oneself and how to deal with others, starting with a spiritual tattoo that triggers a series of life-changing decisions that turn the tables.
A few words before you proceed. This is an incredible confession, adroit and honest to the point of brutality. The writer hones in on herself and strikes and strikes again without reservation, corroborating the age-old adage that to solve problems with others one has to first look inward and be dreadfully honest with oneself. She does so in her capacity as a mother/wife/daughter/woman who’s had enough, now facing her inner demons in order to restore peace to the lives of people she believes she tore to shreds (or had a hand in destroying) taking that crucial first step in their much-needed reconciliation. It’s a remarkable example of how to step up and break a vicious circle through a mea culpa. Martyr or leader, hard to tell. It’s her business, not ours. All we can take from this is an understanding that to fix things sometimes one has to break new ground, starting with oneself. To be fair, this insight tends to get abused, leading to the creation of habitual martyrs, who, all too eager to restore balance to their lives and belong somewhere, assign themselves the entire blame for what went wrong, letting others get away with murder. It can be a masochistic and flagellant approach to problem solving, an indulgence in the catharsis of pain, overlooking at least half the issue. Avoiding confrontation, or the need to assign blame where necessary beyond oneself, and stick with it, no matter how hard it is to follow through, many people set themselves up for a lifetime of self-incrimination. I don’t know where this author’s confession will lead, but she sounds wholeheartedly committed to her cause, and dead set on turning things around. And she writes like a boss.
From the bays of Pearl Coast,
Fish a ton of oysters, strike a shiny pearl.