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Commandaria: Probably The Oldest Wine In The World – Pt. 3

Commandaria is probably the world’s oldest named wine, but nothing is being done about its brand potential. Its potential global reach is being wasted by oafs and fools sitting on a goldmine, twiddling their thumbs. Brand under-utilized, untapped.

It’s a wasted opportunity.

A crime.

A sin.

Speaking of sin, I just remembered something to do with Christianity. Wasn’t Cyprus the place Paul the Apostle first visited during his first missionary journey?

I believe it was.

It was also where, according to legend, Paul struck the magician Elymas blind, thereby successfully proselytizing the Roman Proconsul Sergius Paulus.

It’s a great story. Saul of Tarsus, a once-upon-a-time irreverent figure, and temporarily blinded by God on the road to Damascus some years earlier, had converted to Christianity, changing his name to Paul. Then he embarked on a number of missionary journeys, the first of which saw him through Cyprus, where he struck blind Elymas, the magician who was doubting his teachings. Then he made Proconsul Paulus convert to Jesus. Then he established the island’s first churches, all within a few years of the crucifixion.

Paul the Apostle, one of early Christianity’s most zealous and controversial missionaries.

A couple of words about St. Paul. He was an oafish brute in his earlier years, and hardly a man of God. But his vision of Christ on the road to Damascus made him change character, embrace Jesus, and embark on a mission to spread the word of God. En route to Corinth he passed through Cyprus, and the rest is legend.

Could one run fathoms with this extraordinary story, creating a marketing and advertising campaign in which the theme is ‘Sweet Salvation?’ Could one depict the first Christians — Paul, Barnabas, Mark — taking Holy Communion using, say, Commandaria, the world’s oldest, sweetest wine?

Could one then expand the campaign to cover less pious figures, people associated with power, pleasure and merrymaking, like the Ancient Greeks and Romans, who enjoyed feasting on wine during their orgiastic festivals?

How about Richard the Lionheart, who, according to records, served the sweet wine to celebrate his wedding to his queen, Berengaria?

How about the Lusignans, who acquired the island after the crusades, or the Venetians, who purchased it from Catherine Cornaro, Queen of Cyprus? How about Selim II (Suleiman the Drunkard), Ottoman emperor, who invaded Cyprus in 1571 to secure a ceaseless supply of wine, his favorite beverage, or so the story goes.

Could all these concepts be part of an advertising campaign for the world’s most historically interesting wine?

If only the circle jerks and other meatheads in charge were made to disappear. If only they were replaced with individuals of vision and ability.

It would happen then.

I’ll drink to that. I’ll toast to it. I may even pray for it.

But most of all, I will cheer it when it happens.

In the meantime, I am content knowing that I, along with very few people in the world, have abundant and cheap access to one of the world’s most unique beverages.


From your historically minded and forever spinning Spin Doctor,

Eyes open, mind sharp.